In an effort to remember all my adventures so I can properly brag at Grand-mamma’s pub when I get back to Fortress Warstein, I’m tryin’ to keep an adventurer’s log to keep my facts straight. If your readin’ this, I’m either dead, drunk, or your Marvin and you need to get out of my room!
The trip to Minsc was boring, but once we got there things picked up nicely. After arriving at Town, Din got us directions to the Town Hall from a cowardly guard. It always amazes me that with how many humans there are so many are cowards. If there were that many Dwarves, we’d have taken over the world by now! Ah well, quality over quantity, my grand-mamma always says.
Governor Alistair kind of rubbed me the wrong way. What kind of man keeps a pet mouse anyways? The kind of man who hires cowardly guards, and can’t secure his caravans, that’s who! But he did agree to pay Sigils fee, and gave us room and board at the Stonefield Inn to boot, so I spose he ain’t all that bad.
Governor Alistair said the problem is bandits kill his guards and take the butter, or cows, or whatever their loosin’. He went on for some time about it, and the others seemed real interested in what he had to say. Since they were payin’ such great attention, I kept my thoughts on gettin’ to the Inn for a warm meal and some cold brew. After all, someone’s gotta keep their mind on-track.
After what felt like a week, we finally got to the Inn, and man was it worth the wait! The Innkeepers a respectable Dwarf by the name of Bruenor Thunderstone. He recognized my Clan right away and had nothin’ but good to say about us, so he’s obviously got good taste. Turns out he was an adventurer himself, back in his younger days. He figured we were sent from Sigil about the bandits, and even recognized Din’s order. I bet that huge dragon he’s got painted on his head gave it away. Seems Din follows the Platinum Dragon, but from what I’ve seen of his finances I doubt he’s ever even held a Platinum, let alone had enough to caste a Dragon. Maybe Marvin’s the Platinum Dragon. That’s one dwarf with a healthy respect for good hard coin, and the way Din is always watchin’ him and followin’ him around, it would make sense to me.
After Bruenor and Din talked for a bit and got all buddy-buddy, the innkeeper told us he was glad we were here to take care of the bandit problem. He told us about a local thief named Tarak Abis who ran some small time crime ring, and may know somethin’ about these bandits. Apparently he often comes into the Inn, tossin’ coin around for drinks, so we decided to wait for him to show up. Bruenor was concerned about his place gettin’ roughed up, so I told him I’d pick a fight with Tarak and take it outside to save his inn from the fun.
While we waited, Marvin, Bruner and I attacked our mead like proper dwarves. Seems Bruner forgot he was just a human though, and ended up takin’ a nap. We got some “bitchin’ meals” as well, the inn’s cook would be right at home in a Lords keep in Gorram City, with meal-craftin’ skills like that.
Samantha got some local action, some weed puller bought her a drink and they went off for a chat. Turns out this guy’s some kind of poop expert, said someone’s been plantin’ piles around his farm that stank a stink he ain’t smelled before, or some such. Samantha locked us into investigating it all the followin’ day at noon for some odd reason. Maybe she really likes the guy and want’s to impress him, cause she’s makin’ all of us go. Since I get all I can drink for free at the Inn though, I won’t complain.
We waited for hours, and Tarak never showed. Bruner woke back up about the time the innkeeper came up and told us he heard Tarak was running a dice game in an alley somewhere. I got some mead for the road, and dumped it in my Warstein Stein. I don’t understand how people ever get along without travel steins, just doesn’t make sense to go without for no reason.
Anyhow, we hit the sleepy farming town with a vengeance, and found the dice game pretty easily, and sure enough, Tarak was there. I thought I might make myself a coin or three before we started beatin’ information out of the guy, so walked up and asked to join the game. Can you believe he called me a liar? Right to my face! So much for winnin’ coin the fun way, it was time to earn it the funner way.
I unlimbered my shield and charged straight at Tarak. I barreled right past his friends, three humans and a worthless halfling, and shield slammed him into the wall behind him with a satisfying crunch.
Din appeared out of nowhere and started hollerin’ somethin’. He scared one human thief so bad he dropped his knife and ran away down the alley.
Tarak tried to get at me with two puny daggers he pulled out of somewhere, but there’s no way that was gonna happen against superior Warstein armor. Brain matter, though, got all over me when Marvin shot one human in the head. Glad that guy’s got good aim, that thief was right by me.
The remaining human got cut down by that ranger Bruner, he took care of him with that long sword he’s got.
Poor Samantha though, she got shot in the shoulder by the halfling, and apparently Din’s got a thing for her cause he tore off after that halfling like he’d stole his ale. Although Din don’t drink… What kind of stupid order won’t let ya drink?! Ah well, nobody’s perfect. Din whacked the halfling a few times with that stick he uses, knockin’ him down and then broke the scrawny things neck. It was incredible! After the fight I had to show it to everyone. He nearly popped that halflings head clean off!
Tarak was hurt, but hadn’t given up yet, so I punched the wall next to him as hard as I could to show him I meant business. After that he gave up, and the rest of the group questioned him. He was lyin’ all over himself, so it took a bit for ‘em to get the gossip out of him, but apparently there’s some halfling named Rook about town that has connections to the bandits, so we’re gonna pay him a visit tomorrow.
Once they got what we needed out of Tarak, Din smashed the guy’s face so hard with his staff he couldn’t breathe right. Marvin tried to help by cuttin’ a hole in his throat for him to breathe out of, but Bruner wasn’t havin’ any of that. And I thought Rangers liked to help people! They had a little scuffle, but I guess they figured the best thing was to put the poor sod out of his misery, cause he ended up dead.
At any rate, I’m in my room now. The good dwarf Bruenor was waitin’ for us at his inn when we got back, and fixed up Samantha’s shoulder with some pasty goo he made. He has some left over for my hand too, and I don’t know if it’s the goo or the mead, but my puncher feels pretty numb.
We’ll see what tomorrow brings. Between us goin’ halfling huntin’ and hittin’ Samantha’s new boyfriends farm to stare at poo, I think I’ll be startin’ to drink a bit earlier then my normal pre-lunch binge.